Unsurety

Aaja piyaa tohe pyaar du, gori baiyaa tope vaaru du

My unsurety begins when I open my eyes

To close them again or get started with the day

To brush or have a glass of water first

To eat or not? If yes then what? To drink or not? If yes then what? To go to work or not, if yes then how?

To nod the stranger in the street to how many sets of bench press in the gym

To rebuild a friendship long lost, to end something ruined beyond repair

To wonder about the meaning of life, to wonder what happens after death

Every trivial and important decision, routine and rare, personal and professional, philosophical and passing thought, is marked by my unsurety

Can never be put in a position of importance, can never be bestowed responsibility, can never fight a war, can never pursue peace, can never fully enjoy, can never be fully miserable

I am not living nor dying, unsure about breathing

My life is commanded purely by the forces of the universe, but then I'm unsure if there are such forces or even an universe

I pity the Yamdut who'll come and take me, to convince me to accompany him

For I'm unsure if my time will ever come, if there's a Yamdut, if there's time itself

However, despite this certainty of unsurety, certainty crept into my life, when my eyes saw you, when my ears heard you, when my nose smelled you, when my hands felt yours, when my lips met yours

I love you, it's certain

I'm unsure if it's difficult or impossible to love a man like me

But you have already created a miracle of me, unsure if you could make more

However, certain that we'll always have love